Dear White Liberal Women
(with the exception of the GCs and TERFs)
Dear white liberal women,
There are a couple reasons the stupid #repealthe19th hashtag is trending again. One of the reasons is the existence of a passionate (and very loud) sector of male chauvinists on the Christian right, a bunch of men who sincerely believe the Lord Almighty designed men to control everything while women marvel and fawn at their greatness from the sidelines. You don’t like these women. You think they’re pathetic and weak and disenfranchised.
But you’re no better than they are. That’s right; you’re another part of the problem. Your relentless marveling and fawning at the perceived greatness of leftist men (at your own expense, no less) is adding gallons of fuel to an already blazing dumpster fire in the very real war on women. Like the rightwing handmaidens, you celebrate the very things that harm you, and you punish those who refuse to follow suit.
Don’t know what I’m talking about? Let’s start here: Define the word “woman” for me without resorting to sex role stereotypes. It shouldn’t be hard, but will you do it? Why not? Who spiked your kool-aid and told you the only way to be a nice person is to to play make believe with a global gaslighting campaign designed to erase every hard fought sex-based protection women ever achieved?
Read the comments on any national article related to transgenderism. Early into this fight, it used to be the trans identified males who pushed back hardest against those of us resisting the nonsense. That’s not the case anymore. Now they’ve got you to do the work for them. You weaponize your empathy and resort to manipulative histrionics, insisting we have blood on our hands if we tell a man he has to shower with the other members of his sex.
You shout “Me too!” while simultaneously bullying women with the audacity to say “no” to naked men. Holy rape culture, Batman.
You cry, “The future is female” while throwing stones at those of us with the courage to define what a female even is. Wanna fix that wage gap you’re always complaining about? Have I got the solution for you! Now we can just put a dress on a male CEO raking in the millions, call him a woman, and it will all even out. Problem solved. Glass ceiling shattered!
You denounce “the male gaze” while declaring sex work “empowering.”
You’ve reduced “feminism” to a rabid demand for abortion up to birth to the degree that even the fiercest advocates for women in all other areas of life are completely alienated from the umbrella if they’re pro-life.
You whine about the war on women without realizing you’re the ones pulling the trigger.
Case in point: The Women’s March in DC, where they aren’t even allowed to wear their silly pink pussy hats anymore because they’re so busy prioritizing the men in dresses who decided from on high that the hats were “transphobic” since “not all women have vaginas.” You can’t make this stuff up, guys. It’s embarrassing.
I spend 95% of my advocacy denouncing abusive men wherever they exist on both sides of the political divide. But this one’s on you.
It’s not men who are transing their 5-year-olds. It’s mostly attention-seeking moms (like pageant moms on steroids) pathologizing their kids’ affinity for “wrong sex” stereotypes. Transhausens moms are a rapidly growing phenomenon, and their poor, now sterilized children are the collateral damage of their own narcissistic need for relevance.
And it’s not the dads who are hauling their preschoolers to adult events featuring drag queens. Fathers aren’t sitting around scratching their heads and saying, “Gee, you know what would be a really great thing for my 3-year-old’s development? A half-naked man in a degradingly sexed up caricature of womanhood sticking dollar bills in his g-string.”
That’s all you ladies.
I don’t even know when it started either—probably sometime around the era when it suddenly became cool to be the straight white girl with a gay male best friend as an accessory. It’s a massive identity crisis, like you’re all anchoring your sense of self to the role of being the “nice ones,” the ones with the empathy, the enlightened ones who get it when all the other backwards squares are just missing the boat. But your performative kindness is no kindness at all; it’s selfish to the core. It’s ultimately about making you FEEL like good people without actually having to be them.
I mean, it’s not actually kind to indulge peoples’ aggressive self-hatred, delusion, and the rejection of their healthy bodies. You know this, right? It’s about as “loving” as encouraging an anorexic to believe she is morbidly obese when, in fact, she weighs 85 pounds. The trajectory of this ideology leads to a lifetime of pharmaceutical dependency and, more often than not, permanent sterility. This isn’t “health” or happiness. You are actually encouraging psychological splitting, which is pretty dangerous.
Again, this is about your feelings, not anyone else’s protection. If you want to start a conversation about male violence against other men they perceive to be less manly than they are, then by all means, start that conversation, but at least do so honestly. Address the problem of male violence without erasing women or volunteering us as human shields.
Your feelings are wreaking havoc on the western world, especially when they show up at the polls and enable legislation that hamstrings women and leaves us more vulnerable than we’ve been since before we even had a say in the laws that govern us. And the men who would be inclined to help us fight off this new assault on womanhood are growing apathetic when they see you stepping up to the plate to volunteer as tributes to a war that will ultimately destroy you.
If you can’t hear it from me, then I implore you to hear it from a radical feminist, the sane female leftists who’ve been pulling your dead weight around for far too long now.
Men on my side of the political divide observe your toxic empathy as amplified and underscored by the power of the media machine and the medical industrial complex, and it validates the very worst of their beliefs about women as a sex class. It validates their belief that we are foolish, easily deceived, led by emotions, and untrustworthy when it comes to crafting public policy.
Your behavior is actively emboldening the very worst of the male supremacists on both sides of the political divide.
Please, for the love of everything holy, reel in the crazy.
Help me help you.
Kaeley, this is so good, and it tallies completely with what I'm seeing as a late-millennial gay guy. My straight male friends are generally somewhere on a spectrum between bemused/apathetic and full-on conservative/gender-critical. If anything they have moved right in recent years. Whereas my once-sane female friends have developed woke groupthink (#bekind-itis) and made supporting "LGBTQ+" and being an ally part of their personality and identity - to the extent that they ignore or talk over actual LGBT people who disagree with them. It's like everything LGBTQ+ has become a hobby and accessory for middle-class liberal white women, one that they find very exciting and which gives them a mission and purpose, a righteous glow to bask in, and the power to cancel other people.
I didn't come out in any of my former workplaces back in the 2000s and 2010s for a whole bunch of reasons - one of them being that I didn't want American female colleagues to treat me like a pet or reduce me to my identity label. A friend and her sister even tried to force me to come out to them because they wanted to be "allies" and thought my being gay was something that would be fun and exciting for them. https://wolfstar.substack.com/p/that-time-my-friends-were-so-desperate Now, things have gone so far that in the past few years, there have been a couple of instances where a woman I interacted with in a professional setting was offhand and rude with me because they mistakenly assumed I was straight, then came and apologised to me the next day after finding out I was gay. It's so revealing. Because I'm an ordinary-looking 40-year-old white guy, certain woke women assume I'm problematic, then once they find out I'm gay I apparently get a special pass and they venerate and patronize me. It's absolutely nauseating.
Excellent piece! I must confess, as an old school liberal, that those of us who still exist are a major part of the problem. As you stated, we are NOT being kind to the vulnerable when we see this crazy woke b.s. and not only sit silently by, but continue to be fooled into thinking that woke has anything whatsoever to actually standing up in a positive way for then dispossessed. Far from it, whether it's burning down black neighborhoods and proposing the destruction of the nuclear family in order to supposedly make the lives of poor black people better, to propping up actual racism and antisemitism in order to supposedly end racism, to letting mentally ill drug addicts die on the streets in the name of compassion and letting other mentally ill people play out their sexual kinks in front of our kids and not only tolerating it but valorizing it, woke is a toxic ideology that hurts the vulnerable the most. It's distressing enough when the victims are other adults. The tragedy is multiplied a thousand fold when the victims are children. In my opinion the rise of this societal sickness is mostly the fault of cowed liberals and not conservatives.