I learned early into my career as an amateur keyboard warrior that there’s a really effective trick to maintaining the upper hand in Facebook flame wars: Whoever stays calmest wins.
This kind of parenting is so common, and it does incalculable damage. Kids who grow up being punished for honest, respectful expression of their genuine emotions learn to suppress their real emotions and perform emotions pleasing to the parent or other authority. When this happens early enough and often enough, the child is simply performing all the time, including when alone. This leads to a broken soul incapable of real connection. That Christians are approving of this doesn't surprise me, but it does sadden me. I hope one day parents like Mrs. Wilson can learn to love their kids more than their own egos, but I won't hold my breath.
This story resonated so much with me. I experienced something similar as a child. My parents pulled out the paddle on a dime. You don't like breakfast? Spanking. You were too loud while playing? Spanking.
Believe it or not, that wasn't even the worst part. The real kick in the pants (no pun intended) was that we weren't allowed to cry from the pain of the spanking. Somehow the punishment was supposed to turn us into docile and happy children.
Thank you for pointing out the contrast between the way Jesus uses authority and the way people like the Wilsons wield authority. When we learn to identify the fruit - or what the authority bears out in the lives of people around the person with authority we should more clearly identify healthy leaders and unhealthy leaders. This takes time, observation and discernment and it isn’t often easy. Thank you Kaeley for this helpful tool you’ve shared with us. May Jesus help us to look behind the calmness curtain and see with eyes unveiled and beware.
Matthew 7:15-20:
“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.”
As a mother, a grandmother, a reasonable human being, a Catholic Christian, I find these actions abhorrent. I cannot say I never spanked my children, although they were rare occurrences, and I cannot say I was right to do so. I do know that once I discovered that other punishments were more effective ( restrictions and removal of privileges) spankings were off the table. I would take my children to task if they were disrespectful in their speech or manner but aside from that they were encouraged to express their feelings. In fact I would have loved them to open up to me even more than they did. I am extremely disappointed and saddened that Christians would raise their children this way.
This kind of parenting is so common, and it does incalculable damage. Kids who grow up being punished for honest, respectful expression of their genuine emotions learn to suppress their real emotions and perform emotions pleasing to the parent or other authority. When this happens early enough and often enough, the child is simply performing all the time, including when alone. This leads to a broken soul incapable of real connection. That Christians are approving of this doesn't surprise me, but it does sadden me. I hope one day parents like Mrs. Wilson can learn to love their kids more than their own egos, but I won't hold my breath.
Spot on
This story resonated so much with me. I experienced something similar as a child. My parents pulled out the paddle on a dime. You don't like breakfast? Spanking. You were too loud while playing? Spanking.
Believe it or not, that wasn't even the worst part. The real kick in the pants (no pun intended) was that we weren't allowed to cry from the pain of the spanking. Somehow the punishment was supposed to turn us into docile and happy children.
Thank you for pointing out the contrast between the way Jesus uses authority and the way people like the Wilsons wield authority. When we learn to identify the fruit - or what the authority bears out in the lives of people around the person with authority we should more clearly identify healthy leaders and unhealthy leaders. This takes time, observation and discernment and it isn’t often easy. Thank you Kaeley for this helpful tool you’ve shared with us. May Jesus help us to look behind the calmness curtain and see with eyes unveiled and beware.
Matthew 7:15-20:
“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.”
As a mother, a grandmother, a reasonable human being, a Catholic Christian, I find these actions abhorrent. I cannot say I never spanked my children, although they were rare occurrences, and I cannot say I was right to do so. I do know that once I discovered that other punishments were more effective ( restrictions and removal of privileges) spankings were off the table. I would take my children to task if they were disrespectful in their speech or manner but aside from that they were encouraged to express their feelings. In fact I would have loved them to open up to me even more than they did. I am extremely disappointed and saddened that Christians would raise their children this way.