I so admire your authenticity in sharing your life, particularly today. As readers, it draws us in to hear from the deep places, the hard places, and to know that we are not alone in our journey through all the tough in life. Praying for your heart today…
Oh, this so resonates with me! I can tell you that the adventure is just beginning and you will discover new and powerful things about yourself. And that little person beside you with the Apple Jacks will be your legacy. I have two things I’m proud of: being a cop, and staying home to raise my two special needs kids because no one could do it better than me.
You have the gift of writing and that is powerful and the Lord will take you many places with it. Praying for your tears, as they’re legit. It’s so hard to give up that other self, but it’s time to let other parts of you blossom now.
I’m lifting up prayers for you to discover the doors that are opening as this window closes. Like all things in life--at least for people like you who attend to it--the groundlessness of this moment will certainly catalyze growth. In the meantime, may you find yourself enjoying the opportunities ahead for peace and quiet breathing. Best wishes.
It seems that we are in different spots on the same road. Life changes feel traumatic in ways that are sometimes unidentifiable. I know that for me, major life changes were always negative and fraught with anxiety. In this latest one, I purposed to pray with an eye on my Jesus, holding out every good gift he plans to lavish on me in my future--because that is exactly what he is doing. (Jer. 29:11) Now I am praying this for you, too.
:'( I know it's early days at this will get easier but... Why aren't you focussing on who's dependent on you? You're faced with the most important job in the world! And, sure, there is training for how to cook and how to clean. You'll get that in as you go off Youtube. But the job of being a parent comes with no instruction manual. They teach us as we go.
That does NOT mean we let them guide us in what they want to eat, what time to go to bed and when to cross the road, etc. Of course not. It means paying close attention to them and their needs. Get to know your child. They need this bond more than just about anything else in the world.
As you pay attention and grow with your child, the way to adapt and apply your skills later on will become perfectly clear.
Hang in there. This could turn out to be the best thing for your family and for you, too. <3
Thanks. To clarify, I’ve been a parent for almost 15 years and have had a laser beam focus on that ever since, so the reminders to focus on my kids may be misplaced. My world has revolved around them for quite some time. They’re the top priority. But I’m a person with skills and passions in addition to parenting, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Women are allowed to care about things in addition to our children.
Apologies if I misunderstood but your description led me to believe you weren't working from home. You did mention you had older kids but it didn't seem like you had raised them, either.
The job of actually being with kids when they're young has been debased by society. I get that and experienced it myself. My bias is still strongly in favour being the one the children bond to when they're young because we don't 'shift jobs' in the way daycare workers do. Priority focus can return to the career once they go to school. There's nothing wrong with that.
My bias towards the wellbeing of children vs career was formed at age 19 after working as a nanny for a brilliant professional woman with a toddler and a 5month old. She loved her kids but couldn't see her role as "just" parenting - for any amount of time. I got to see how that harms young ones and then studied it. Our children can't be picked up on in later years the way a career can.
There was a time when I had to drop my 3rd child off at daycare a few times a week. That was another massive eye opener. Little kids just aren't equipped to be separated like that. I ended up spending hours there helping to soothe the children who were being dropped off. Then my one year old would be devastated in the same way when I disappeared.
Having said that, some women aren't equipped emotionally or temperamentally to be the full-time parent for little ones. In that case, a husband or grandmother who has the energy for the job can step into the role. That would mean you miss out on the certain passion that comes from being in that parenting role. Being there means we get to see the world through their eyes and this can propel us into all manner of careers.
What on earth would lead you to believe I didn’t raise my kids?
I don’t share your convictions about stay at home moms at all, but I can assure you that my children are loved and nurtured regardless of where I do my work.
Your comments that you were financially independent for the last 20yrs. Also your fears about not knowing how to do the basic things around the house that we mock fathers for not doing. That means that you had outsourced the raising of your children.
I’m not a good housekeeper. That hardly means I’m a bad mother. Good gravy, lady.
Moms who work outside the home aren’t “outsourcing” the raising of their children. This is a terrible thing to say to people. You should probably stop.
Hi Kate, you might like to look up the definition of ‘enormity’. I apologise for being a member of the linguistic police, but I believe that we, as a society, are losing something important if we allow that word to undergo a semantic shift. It’s original meaning is close to unique and we don’t want to let ‘enormity’ shift into the already large collection of words that simply mean “very big”.
Definition of ‘enormity’: the great or extreme scale, seriousness, or extent of something perceived as bad or morally wrong.
Well done. That’s a brave thing. You have this other profession -- writing. I know it doesn’t pay, but it’s a gift nonetheless.
I so admire your authenticity in sharing your life, particularly today. As readers, it draws us in to hear from the deep places, the hard places, and to know that we are not alone in our journey through all the tough in life. Praying for your heart today…
Oh, this so resonates with me! I can tell you that the adventure is just beginning and you will discover new and powerful things about yourself. And that little person beside you with the Apple Jacks will be your legacy. I have two things I’m proud of: being a cop, and staying home to raise my two special needs kids because no one could do it better than me.
You have the gift of writing and that is powerful and the Lord will take you many places with it. Praying for your tears, as they’re legit. It’s so hard to give up that other self, but it’s time to let other parts of you blossom now.
{{hugs}}
I’m lifting up prayers for you to discover the doors that are opening as this window closes. Like all things in life--at least for people like you who attend to it--the groundlessness of this moment will certainly catalyze growth. In the meantime, may you find yourself enjoying the opportunities ahead for peace and quiet breathing. Best wishes.
Wow. So hard and also what an absolute blessing. You are always so courageous.
Thanks for sharing! I’m praying for you right now. I appreciate your voice.
I unsubscribed today. I'll resubscribe today.
Congrats on your new career. I'm sure you will be great at it until you find the next one. And then you'll be great at that, too.
It seems that we are in different spots on the same road. Life changes feel traumatic in ways that are sometimes unidentifiable. I know that for me, major life changes were always negative and fraught with anxiety. In this latest one, I purposed to pray with an eye on my Jesus, holding out every good gift he plans to lavish on me in my future--because that is exactly what he is doing. (Jer. 29:11) Now I am praying this for you, too.
Congratulations, Sweet Momma. This was beautifully written.♥️ right now, you are doing the most important job in the world.
:'( I know it's early days at this will get easier but... Why aren't you focussing on who's dependent on you? You're faced with the most important job in the world! And, sure, there is training for how to cook and how to clean. You'll get that in as you go off Youtube. But the job of being a parent comes with no instruction manual. They teach us as we go.
That does NOT mean we let them guide us in what they want to eat, what time to go to bed and when to cross the road, etc. Of course not. It means paying close attention to them and their needs. Get to know your child. They need this bond more than just about anything else in the world.
As you pay attention and grow with your child, the way to adapt and apply your skills later on will become perfectly clear.
Hang in there. This could turn out to be the best thing for your family and for you, too. <3
All the best :)
Thanks. To clarify, I’ve been a parent for almost 15 years and have had a laser beam focus on that ever since, so the reminders to focus on my kids may be misplaced. My world has revolved around them for quite some time. They’re the top priority. But I’m a person with skills and passions in addition to parenting, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Women are allowed to care about things in addition to our children.
Apologies if I misunderstood but your description led me to believe you weren't working from home. You did mention you had older kids but it didn't seem like you had raised them, either.
The job of actually being with kids when they're young has been debased by society. I get that and experienced it myself. My bias is still strongly in favour being the one the children bond to when they're young because we don't 'shift jobs' in the way daycare workers do. Priority focus can return to the career once they go to school. There's nothing wrong with that.
My bias towards the wellbeing of children vs career was formed at age 19 after working as a nanny for a brilliant professional woman with a toddler and a 5month old. She loved her kids but couldn't see her role as "just" parenting - for any amount of time. I got to see how that harms young ones and then studied it. Our children can't be picked up on in later years the way a career can.
There was a time when I had to drop my 3rd child off at daycare a few times a week. That was another massive eye opener. Little kids just aren't equipped to be separated like that. I ended up spending hours there helping to soothe the children who were being dropped off. Then my one year old would be devastated in the same way when I disappeared.
Having said that, some women aren't equipped emotionally or temperamentally to be the full-time parent for little ones. In that case, a husband or grandmother who has the energy for the job can step into the role. That would mean you miss out on the certain passion that comes from being in that parenting role. Being there means we get to see the world through their eyes and this can propel us into all manner of careers.
What on earth would lead you to believe I didn’t raise my kids?
I don’t share your convictions about stay at home moms at all, but I can assure you that my children are loved and nurtured regardless of where I do my work.
Thanks.
Your comments that you were financially independent for the last 20yrs. Also your fears about not knowing how to do the basic things around the house that we mock fathers for not doing. That means that you had outsourced the raising of your children.
I’m not a good housekeeper. That hardly means I’m a bad mother. Good gravy, lady.
Moms who work outside the home aren’t “outsourcing” the raising of their children. This is a terrible thing to say to people. You should probably stop.
Hi Kate, you might like to look up the definition of ‘enormity’. I apologise for being a member of the linguistic police, but I believe that we, as a society, are losing something important if we allow that word to undergo a semantic shift. It’s original meaning is close to unique and we don’t want to let ‘enormity’ shift into the already large collection of words that simply mean “very big”.
Definition of ‘enormity’: the great or extreme scale, seriousness, or extent of something perceived as bad or morally wrong.
Thank you. I have amended the blog accordingly.
Sorry for spelling your name wrongly in my comment. My memory is flimsy, due to PTSD and burnout.