5 Comments

"God loves his people more than his institutions." Thank you. And might I add--there is a growing number of narcissistic women abusing husbands and children, using porn and scarring good men. There is even less support for them.

Expand full comment

Yes. My personal focal point is obviously women’s advocacy, so I spend more energy there, but those who feel called to minister to the men harmed by women should absolutely do so.

Expand full comment

Oh my gosh, but I love this line: "And we have to remember that God loves His people more than He loves His institutions."

The porn, the abuse, the rages, the bad marriages, the guilt, the preaching: all of it stems from childhood trauma that continues to exert enormous control because emotions generated in childhood have never been expressed or validated, and digging back into our past, intellectually looking for traumatic experiences and saying, "Oh, yep, found one" doesn't really cut it, as far as healing goes. We need to feel again the rage, sorrow, terror, even excitement or joy that we were told was unacceptable or made to feel ashamed of—and FINALLY express it.

Alice Miller is the pioneer in this area, although her works can be a bit confusing. I've found that the best strategy is to read as many as you can, understand that she uses the word "beaten" to describe any punishment or discipline that leaves a child confused and humiliated, and not worry about "to forgive or not to forgive." It's neither here nor there. When healing happens, everything falls into place. I do hope you'll give her a try, perhaps starting with "The Truth Will Set You Free."

You didn't get much into emotional abuse here (perhaps you do elsewhere? I'm a new reader), but "Stalking the Soul" by Marie-France Hirigoyen is essential reading on manipulation, gaslighting, and other "quiet" methods of tearing a person to shreds.

Expand full comment

On porn -when Ted Bundy was getting ready to be executed, he warned about the dangers of pornography. “Bundy added, "I've lived in prison a long time now. I've met a lot of men who were motivated to commit violence just like me. And without exception, every one of them was deeply involved in pornography. Without question, without exception, deeply influenced and consumed by addiction to pornography."

Expand full comment

Lol nothing is ever about supporting a husband or making his life easier.

Everything is narcissistic

Interesting how modern Christian women basically live like the pharisees.

Expand full comment