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Danielle V. Naptastik's avatar

Wow. Wow. Wow. I got SUPER TENSE and my stomach was in complete knots reading that. Even right now- even though I know it was Daniel, I feel nervous! You’re awakening things in me with your posts that I didn’t realize were in me. That must’ve been immobilizing. Wow. I’m so thankful for Daniel.

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Danielle V. Naptastik's avatar

Oh duh- also, that sucks about your car. It’s will be ok. I’ve been in that position too, and it might not be how you think it’ll be. It might be better- it might be worse. (I know I’m not helping) but it will be ok.

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Holly MathNerd's avatar

OMG. I had a 45 minute drive home, much of it on curvy two-lane Vermont roads, and was thinking about moose and deer the whole time. I'm so glad everyone's ok.

And I understand entirely what you mean about Trauma Brain. In some respects it's way better -- I had Thanksgiving Dinner with a friend in a place that bore a striking resemblance to my father's den and didn't even think of it until much later. No nervous system reaction, no nothing. In other respects, there are still scenarios where I react to what happened when I was 8, not what happened in the moment, and only understand it MUCH later, with help. None of this is linear or even very sensible. All we can do is keep working at it.

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Danielle V. Naptastik's avatar

I was in a grocery store one day in federal way and came face to face with a man that had raped me quite a few years earlier- after many dates. I thought certainly it wasn’t him, so I mustered up the bravery to go up to him and ask him if his name was ______. I was shaking. Yes indeed, it was him, “do I know you?”, he replied- completely unaware of who I was. It was then I got ANGRY that after all of the interaction I had with this man, after he wrecked me. He knew who I was then- He now suddenly didn’t know me and I WANTED HIM to see me strong despite him WRECKING ME. I was so irritated that he had no clue who I was.

I hijacked your post because I thought it might match something you’ve said.

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Tam Gronewold's avatar

Hope is such a very heavy thing to hold...It's so, so true.

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