A few years ago, I drove my then 7-year-old daughter to the local library to print out a homework assignment on one of the community computers. As we approached the computer bay, I was horrified to discover a grown man watching a screenful of violent porn. Even worse than his choice to consume this crap in public was his choice to continue watching it as we approached. It was abundantly clear to me that part of his arousal mechanism was his ability to require our unwitting participation in it. He derived sexual satisfaction from our discomfort and, more specifically, from his control over it.
This is an actual extract from a sex education textbook for girls, printed in the early 1960's in the UK. As far as we have come, we have so far to go!!
“When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night.
When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be led by your husband's wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest Congress then agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfillment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.
Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up, and apply your night-time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.”
I heard about this brouhaha and read Heather Heying’s take (she comes down on the same side as you, of course). I’d love to know which men/influencers are defending the dude, if you have a list you don’t mind sharing in the comments...?
Thanks for such a cogent argument against public kink. So aggravating anyone even needs to make one, but here we are. Sigh.
We let these men claim that this gender identity farce is Marxist and we're surprised they weren't serious about combating AGP? They have no idea what's going on; they're just simultaneously concerned that it will harm their own property (wife/girlfriend and any kids) and delighted that it's got the actual feminists so hamstrung. They're scamming. They get attention and speaking fees and we get ostracized from our own movement. Again.
Thank you for sharing an explanation of this issue. You help many of us grow in understanding of the myriad complexities of these arenas in which you do battle. It's sad to me that both sides of these issues can't seem to see that there is so much reinforcement and repetition of barriers to women having equal rights, equal voices, equal safety.
This is the first I’ve heard that library computers don’t have any blocks on porn sites. I don’t think it would be illegal to block porn sites even from the adult computers. I’m shocked that libraries aren’t already doing this.
This is an actual extract from a sex education textbook for girls, printed in the early 1960's in the UK. As far as we have come, we have so far to go!!
“When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night.
When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be led by your husband's wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest Congress then agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfillment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.
Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up, and apply your night-time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.”
Gross. Sex objects.
I heard about this brouhaha and read Heather Heying’s take (she comes down on the same side as you, of course). I’d love to know which men/influencers are defending the dude, if you have a list you don’t mind sharing in the comments...?
Thanks for such a cogent argument against public kink. So aggravating anyone even needs to make one, but here we are. Sigh.
Benjamin Boyce and James Lindsay for two
Ugh. Thanks.
We let these men claim that this gender identity farce is Marxist and we're surprised they weren't serious about combating AGP? They have no idea what's going on; they're just simultaneously concerned that it will harm their own property (wife/girlfriend and any kids) and delighted that it's got the actual feminists so hamstrung. They're scamming. They get attention and speaking fees and we get ostracized from our own movement. Again.
Thank you for sharing an explanation of this issue. You help many of us grow in understanding of the myriad complexities of these arenas in which you do battle. It's sad to me that both sides of these issues can't seem to see that there is so much reinforcement and repetition of barriers to women having equal rights, equal voices, equal safety.
This is the first I’ve heard that library computers don’t have any blocks on porn sites. I don’t think it would be illegal to block porn sites even from the adult computers. I’m shocked that libraries aren’t already doing this.
Same. They use public money, so should be under the same scrutiny as school districts wrt internet access.