In light of today’s national election results, I need to say a few things about abortion. My opinion is informed by my experience as a previously unwed mother who knows what it's like to have to choose. It's informed by my experience as a survivor of sexual and domestic violence. It's informed by my time working at a pregnancy resource center, by my time volunteering in women's shelters, and by my time spent on the frontlines in defense of women's hard fought sex-based protections.
As a foster-adoptive mom who loves the bio mom and still facilitates visits with her while dealing with all the daily difficulties of raising a child who comes from complex challenges - thank you acknowledging the complexities of this issue. 💕
One piece you didn’t touch on and perhaps see as separate - abortion for medical reasons like medically necessary or life-saving treatment to the mother that is toxic or potentially toxic to the baby. It’s anything but black and white. I also do not think it should be used to establish general abortion rights.
Have you read Dragon Ride by Grace Jacobs? She has a couple chapters on walking with women facing abortion “choices” in China… some great wisdom there for all of us who name Christ.
Great article Kaeley. Important insights. The one that sticks out is ...Some of the most abortion-vulnerable women are sitting in pews next to you on Sunday mornings. The stigma of their sexual sin can be downright paralyzing. What can we do to foster a church culture....
Churches are supposed to be hospitals for sinners, so unplanned pregnancies shouldn't be such a scandal, that abortion looks like the best option.
Yes! These words spoke to me too. Church should be the place women in this situation feel safest - where they know they and their babe will be loved and cared for - and that grace will be shown abundantly without judgment. I’m sure the shame of church is so much worse than most other places in such women’s lives. And yet you’ve articulated the tension so well between being clear about the call to sexual purity while fostering a culture of grace. Very powerful - thank you
Amen, and amen! The pro-choice crowd continuously accused pro-lifers of only caring for the baby while it's in the womb, and then ignoring both child and mother after birth. While that is not true for the most part, it is unfortunately true enough. We need to work much harder at supporting single mothers who make the right choice to keep and raise their children.
Maybe god shouldn't litter embryos where they're not welcome?
In retrospect, I wish I'd aborted in 1991, and it's a long painful story to say why.
If the government is going to make abortion inaccessible, but the government benefits from the creation of future taxpayers, then each mother should get $50,000 basic income until school age to provide for the child.
My son is now 31. It was hard providing for him as a divorced mom. I can't imagine anyone who isn't rich being able to afford it these days.
At least 31 states grant parental rights to rapists, as a side note.
Well, after the decades of love and struggle to care for him, though we were on great terms for 29 years, he's decided he hates me for his childhood and wants me dead, so 🤷
Nov 9, 2023·edited Nov 9, 2023Liked by Kaeley Triller Harms
The parental rights for rapists is a big problem! Thanks for saying that. I provided some level of moral support for a would-have-been adoptive couple, chosen by a loving teen mom, who was forced into parenting by the father of the child - an older married man with several other children whom she knew from church - because he wouldn’t sign off on the adoption and tried to take the baby and parent with his wife. The young mother ended up parenting with the support of her parents. What a crime the state even allowed him a voice! Ohio several years back.
This seems as though it would be a good bipartisan issue most of us would get behind. Horrible! This is where the mother should play dumb and pretend she doesn't know who the father is.
Im a millennial breadwinner mom of two small kids and I’ve been a PA for over 10 years—worked in womens health for awhile— and active in the prolife movement since before 40 Days for Life came along & I do disagree on the culpability of women in the murder of their kids. Why? For 3 years I was on the team of the abortion pill reversal hotline; women called regretting taking the abortion pill and wanted to reverse it. For three years, on my weekly shifts, I talked to thousands of women the very day they chose abortion. Let me tell you that these women didn’t call wanting to save a clump of cells, they called wanting to save their baby. Women may be coerced on occasion but not most. They know and their intent was indeed murder. Before this hotline work I thought like you but believe me, women need love yes but also restraints on their murderous behavior. They swallow the pill. Not some doctor who hands it to them.
How many hours have you spent on abortion clinic sidewalks? Do you know the hearts of the “abortion abolitionists”? Have you seen what they have? Don’t buy into a caricature. Go to the sidewalk regularly and see the MEN, ****and**** WOMEN at the clinics to kill their babies They are evil and *ready* to kill their babies. Jesus said “go and sin now more” (John 8) & “Repent or you will likewise perish.” And that is what these abortion abolitionists are begging these murderers to do. Like Jesus.
Love your heart and wanted you to hear mine after over a decade of up-close work.
This is not true. I reject it entirely. We are already killing babies- more than 63 million since 1973. We are not going to agree about this. Peace and safety to you regardless.
Abortion is immoral but I don't know if that should make it illegal. Roe was an awful application of the law and it was rightly reversed but if states want to legislate it then it's a different story in my view. Even though I don't support it. The whole subject makes me feel sad. It seems to me that we've gone way too far down this road to turn back any time soon. As you so rightly pointed out, it has become an industry and that industry is flush with cash to fund lots of lobbying efforts and political contributions. The narrative of a woman's right to abortion on demand is not going to change any time soon but that is exactly where it would have to change. Returning to a culture that affirms the beauty of family, life, and children? We are a long way from that. The majority doesn't want it. The majority wants death (in the name of freedom) not only in the form of abortion but also in all its other forms; Food, Gambling, Sports, Porn, Video Games, alcohol, and drugs. We are not only free to choose our addictions but also encouraged to. It's very lucrative.
The Jews are awaiting a political savior but not Christians. Our salvation is not of this world. This world has never been in the hands of the faithful and is not supposed to be our refuge. “I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming, and he has nothing in Me” (John 14:30).
Lady, you just got yourself a paid subscriber.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate you. Hope I never disappoint!
As a foster-adoptive mom who loves the bio mom and still facilitates visits with her while dealing with all the daily difficulties of raising a child who comes from complex challenges - thank you acknowledging the complexities of this issue. 💕
One piece you didn’t touch on and perhaps see as separate - abortion for medical reasons like medically necessary or life-saving treatment to the mother that is toxic or potentially toxic to the baby. It’s anything but black and white. I also do not think it should be used to establish general abortion rights.
Have you read Dragon Ride by Grace Jacobs? She has a couple chapters on walking with women facing abortion “choices” in China… some great wisdom there for all of us who name Christ.
Great article Kaeley. Important insights. The one that sticks out is ...Some of the most abortion-vulnerable women are sitting in pews next to you on Sunday mornings. The stigma of their sexual sin can be downright paralyzing. What can we do to foster a church culture....
Churches are supposed to be hospitals for sinners, so unplanned pregnancies shouldn't be such a scandal, that abortion looks like the best option.
Yes! These words spoke to me too. Church should be the place women in this situation feel safest - where they know they and their babe will be loved and cared for - and that grace will be shown abundantly without judgment. I’m sure the shame of church is so much worse than most other places in such women’s lives. And yet you’ve articulated the tension so well between being clear about the call to sexual purity while fostering a culture of grace. Very powerful - thank you
Amen, and amen! The pro-choice crowd continuously accused pro-lifers of only caring for the baby while it's in the womb, and then ignoring both child and mother after birth. While that is not true for the most part, it is unfortunately true enough. We need to work much harder at supporting single mothers who make the right choice to keep and raise their children.
Maybe god shouldn't litter embryos where they're not welcome?
In retrospect, I wish I'd aborted in 1991, and it's a long painful story to say why.
If the government is going to make abortion inaccessible, but the government benefits from the creation of future taxpayers, then each mother should get $50,000 basic income until school age to provide for the child.
My son is now 31. It was hard providing for him as a divorced mom. I can't imagine anyone who isn't rich being able to afford it these days.
At least 31 states grant parental rights to rapists, as a side note.
I hope your son never reads those words from your pen. We aren't going to agree about this. I wish you peace and safety regardless.
Well, after the decades of love and struggle to care for him, though we were on great terms for 29 years, he's decided he hates me for his childhood and wants me dead, so 🤷
I’m really sorry. I imagine this must be unspeakably painful
The parental rights for rapists is a big problem! Thanks for saying that. I provided some level of moral support for a would-have-been adoptive couple, chosen by a loving teen mom, who was forced into parenting by the father of the child - an older married man with several other children whom she knew from church - because he wouldn’t sign off on the adoption and tried to take the baby and parent with his wife. The young mother ended up parenting with the support of her parents. What a crime the state even allowed him a voice! Ohio several years back.
This seems as though it would be a good bipartisan issue most of us would get behind. Horrible! This is where the mother should play dumb and pretend she doesn't know who the father is.
Always grateful for your thoughtful writing.
Im a millennial breadwinner mom of two small kids and I’ve been a PA for over 10 years—worked in womens health for awhile— and active in the prolife movement since before 40 Days for Life came along & I do disagree on the culpability of women in the murder of their kids. Why? For 3 years I was on the team of the abortion pill reversal hotline; women called regretting taking the abortion pill and wanted to reverse it. For three years, on my weekly shifts, I talked to thousands of women the very day they chose abortion. Let me tell you that these women didn’t call wanting to save a clump of cells, they called wanting to save their baby. Women may be coerced on occasion but not most. They know and their intent was indeed murder. Before this hotline work I thought like you but believe me, women need love yes but also restraints on their murderous behavior. They swallow the pill. Not some doctor who hands it to them.
How many hours have you spent on abortion clinic sidewalks? Do you know the hearts of the “abortion abolitionists”? Have you seen what they have? Don’t buy into a caricature. Go to the sidewalk regularly and see the MEN, ****and**** WOMEN at the clinics to kill their babies They are evil and *ready* to kill their babies. Jesus said “go and sin now more” (John 8) & “Repent or you will likewise perish.” And that is what these abortion abolitionists are begging these murderers to do. Like Jesus.
Love your heart and wanted you to hear mine after over a decade of up-close work.
If you make abortion illegal you have to accept that you are killing women.
This is not true. I reject it entirely. We are already killing babies- more than 63 million since 1973. We are not going to agree about this. Peace and safety to you regardless.
Abortion is immoral but I don't know if that should make it illegal. Roe was an awful application of the law and it was rightly reversed but if states want to legislate it then it's a different story in my view. Even though I don't support it. The whole subject makes me feel sad. It seems to me that we've gone way too far down this road to turn back any time soon. As you so rightly pointed out, it has become an industry and that industry is flush with cash to fund lots of lobbying efforts and political contributions. The narrative of a woman's right to abortion on demand is not going to change any time soon but that is exactly where it would have to change. Returning to a culture that affirms the beauty of family, life, and children? We are a long way from that. The majority doesn't want it. The majority wants death (in the name of freedom) not only in the form of abortion but also in all its other forms; Food, Gambling, Sports, Porn, Video Games, alcohol, and drugs. We are not only free to choose our addictions but also encouraged to. It's very lucrative.
The Jews are awaiting a political savior but not Christians. Our salvation is not of this world. This world has never been in the hands of the faithful and is not supposed to be our refuge. “I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming, and he has nothing in Me” (John 14:30).