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Marsha's avatar

As a foster-adoptive mom who loves the bio mom and still facilitates visits with her while dealing with all the daily difficulties of raising a child who comes from complex challenges - thank you acknowledging the complexities of this issue. 💕

One piece you didn’t touch on and perhaps see as separate - abortion for medical reasons like medically necessary or life-saving treatment to the mother that is toxic or potentially toxic to the baby. It’s anything but black and white. I also do not think it should be used to establish general abortion rights.

Have you read Dragon Ride by Grace Jacobs? She has a couple chapters on walking with women facing abortion “choices” in China… some great wisdom there for all of us who name Christ.

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Mary Locke's avatar

Great article Kaeley. Important insights. The one that sticks out is ...Some of the most abortion-vulnerable women are sitting in pews next to you on Sunday mornings. The stigma of their sexual sin can be downright paralyzing. What can we do to foster a church culture....

Churches are supposed to be hospitals for sinners, so unplanned pregnancies shouldn't be such a scandal, that abortion looks like the best option.

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Motherae's avatar

Yes! These words spoke to me too. Church should be the place women in this situation feel safest - where they know they and their babe will be loved and cared for - and that grace will be shown abundantly without judgment. I’m sure the shame of church is so much worse than most other places in such women’s lives. And yet you’ve articulated the tension so well between being clear about the call to sexual purity while fostering a culture of grace. Very powerful - thank you

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DIANE M PERRY's avatar

Maybe god shouldn't litter embryos where they're not welcome?

In retrospect, I wish I'd aborted in 1991, and it's a long painful story to say why.

If the government is going to make abortion inaccessible, but the government benefits from the creation of future taxpayers, then each mother should get $50,000 basic income until school age to provide for the child.

My son is now 31. It was hard providing for him as a divorced mom. I can't imagine anyone who isn't rich being able to afford it these days.

At least 31 states grant parental rights to rapists, as a side note.

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Kaeley Triller Harms's avatar

I hope your son never reads those words from your pen. We aren't going to agree about this. I wish you peace and safety regardless.

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DIANE M PERRY's avatar

Well, after the decades of love and struggle to care for him, though we were on great terms for 29 years, he's decided he hates me for his childhood and wants me dead, so 🤷

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Kaeley Triller Harms's avatar

I’m really sorry. I imagine this must be unspeakably painful

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Marsha's avatar

The parental rights for rapists is a big problem! Thanks for saying that. I provided some level of moral support for a would-have-been adoptive couple, chosen by a loving teen mom, who was forced into parenting by the father of the child - an older married man with several other children whom she knew from church - because he wouldn’t sign off on the adoption and tried to take the baby and parent with his wife. The young mother ended up parenting with the support of her parents. What a crime the state even allowed him a voice! Ohio several years back.

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Hazel-rah's avatar

Biologist/clinic defense vet here. Right-wing men will never, ever stop trying to control women, absent our society becoming a matriarchy. It's in the male genes. The best we can hope for is maintaining the upper hand over them on the issue.

Once we've permanently dealt with the trans and DEI insanities, many centrists will return to the Democrats. Of course that may never happen, so this may be a permanent problem.

You rightfully point out the "lump of tissue" fallacy but fail to acknowledge the "women are mere vessels" fallacy.

Women evolved/were bequeathed by God the power of life creation. It is their power, to rightfully exercise as they see fit. There is no baby until they are done making it, if they decide to go through with it.

Men are the key in the ignition but women are the drivers. That is the proper order of things.

If you are unable to see that, then you've let the right-wing men get in your head.

Incidentally, many mammals including our ancestors have the ability to re-absorb pregnancies into their bodies when conditions are objectively too harsh for the success of baby-raising. God/evolution knew what He/it was doing 👍🏼

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Kaeley Triller Harms's avatar

Never going to agree about this. Peace and safety to you regardless.

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Double Mc's avatar

Amen, and amen! The pro-choice crowd continuously accused pro-lifers of only caring for the baby while it's in the womb, and then ignoring both child and mother after birth. While that is not true for the most part, it is unfortunately true enough. We need to work much harder at supporting single mothers who make the right choice to keep and raise their children.

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Phaedrus's avatar

Abortion is immoral but I don't know if that should make it illegal. Roe was an awful application of the law and it was rightly reversed but if states want to legislate it then it's a different story in my view. Even though I don't support it. The whole subject makes me feel sad. It seems to me that we've gone way too far down this road to turn back any time soon. As you so rightly pointed out, it has become an industry and that industry is flush with cash to fund lots of lobbying efforts and political contributions. The narrative of a woman's right to abortion on demand is not going to change any time soon but that is exactly where it would have to change. Returning to a culture that affirms the beauty of family, life, and children? We are a long way from that. The majority doesn't want it. The majority wants death (in the name of freedom) not only in the form of abortion but also in all its other forms; Food, Gambling, Sports, Porn, Video Games, alcohol, and drugs. We are not only free to choose our addictions but also encouraged to. It's very lucrative.

The Jews are awaiting a political savior but not Christians. Our salvation is not of this world. This world has never been in the hands of the faithful and is not supposed to be our refuge. “I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming, and he has nothing in Me” (John 14:30).

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Sharon Geiger's avatar

As a christian and single mom (yes my son was born out of wedlock) I can say that my christian friends and family were my biggest cheerleaders when I found out at 42 that I was pregnant. While my 15 year old drives me crazy some days with his attitude, I wouldn't change becoming a mom for anything on the world!

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Cara's avatar

Always grateful for your thoughtful writing.

Im a millennial breadwinner mom of two small kids and I’ve been a PA for over 10 years—worked in womens health for awhile— and active in the prolife movement since before 40 Days for Life came along & I do disagree on the culpability of women in the murder of their kids. Why? For 3 years I was on the team of the abortion pill reversal hotline; women called regretting taking the abortion pill and wanted to reverse it. For three years, on my weekly shifts, I talked to thousands of women the very day they chose abortion. Let me tell you that these women didn’t call wanting to save a clump of cells, they called wanting to save their baby. Women may be coerced on occasion but not most. They know and their intent was indeed murder. Before this hotline work I thought like you but believe me, women need love yes but also restraints on their murderous behavior. They swallow the pill. Not some doctor who hands it to them.

How many hours have you spent on abortion clinic sidewalks? Do you know the hearts of the “abortion abolitionists”? Have you seen what they have? Don’t buy into a caricature. Go to the sidewalk regularly and see the MEN, ****and**** WOMEN at the clinics to kill their babies They are evil and *ready* to kill their babies. Jesus said “go and sin now more” (John 8) & “Repent or you will likewise perish.” And that is what these abortion abolitionists are begging these murderers to do. Like Jesus.

Love your heart and wanted you to hear mine after over a decade of up-close work.

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Chris Patten's avatar

If you make abortion illegal you have to accept that you are killing women.

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Kaeley Triller Harms's avatar

This is not true. I reject it entirely. We are already killing babies- more than 63 million since 1973. We are not going to agree about this. Peace and safety to you regardless.

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Nov 9, 2023
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Kaeley Triller Harms's avatar

Thank you so much! I really appreciate you. Hope I never disappoint!

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