If there’s one thing this week’s election has taught us it’s that using the power of the mainstream media complex to relentlessly label anyone right of Karl Marx a “Nazi” is a losing strategy.
I very much agree! I just can’t figure out HOW to reach the people on the other side. If you won’t agree with them, they will not engage in any meaningful way. They’ll simply pronounce you evil and also probably curse at you and that’s that. In the past 2 days my daughter has been notified by multiple friends AND a cousin that they can no longer be friends or interact with her because she voted to take away their bodily rights. There’s nothing she can say or do. And I find myself in a similar position with several of my “friends.”
Have you had any success or do you have any ideas for how to bridge this kind of gap with people? I’m at a loss.
That’s so sad, and I’m sorry to hear it. There are some people who just won’t be willing to meet you in the middle no matter what. I’ve learned you have to pray for them and let them go. I have two siblings who haven’t spoken to me in almost 10 years. I love them. I pray for them, but I can’t force them to accept my beliefs.
At the same time, I also co-founded a bipartisan coalition of women from dramatically opposing viewpoints, and it’s been one of the most healing experiences of my adult life. From the jump, we agreed not to discuss the issues we knew would divide us, and we were really disciplined about only engaging topics about which we passionately agreed. We stuck to those rules for a long while, and rich friendships grew out of it. We were suddenly able to see “the other side” as humans with convictions and hearts and feelings, and now, all this time later, because of that foundation, we actually CAN discuss a number of the harder issues.
I guess my recommendation would be to try to find common ground wherever possible, and affirm it. Speak life into it. Invite people to coffee. I have a friend who intentionally invites people from opposite worldviews into his home to cook a meal for them on a regular basis.
If people want to do the work, it can yield beautiful results. But not everyone is ready for that risk, unfortunately. ❤️
Thank you Kaeley for this thoughtful response. Excellent advice to “pray for them and let them go”… like you, I’ve already had to do this with multiple friends, my brother and his wife, and more. It’s just so sad and frustrating. I want to be able to DO something. But as you said, they have to be willing to meet in the middle and many are not.
I love that you founded a bipartisan coalition of women… Now that’s doing something! How did you do that? Was this online or in person? I want to try it 🤓
If we do the best we can to live the two great commandments: to love the Lord with all our might, mind, and strength; and our neighbors as ourselves, then we wouldn’t hear nearly as much shouting, or feel nearly as much judgement or hate.
But wait, we have to know how to truly love ourselves first!
Knowing that God loves EACH of His children – you, me, and the people we can’t even stand to be around – helps us see ourselves and each other in a different way.
We can then agree to disagree civilly.
The challenge, as you have pointed out before, is that if a person at some level (even in not consciously) knows they are on shaky ground, the way they think they make that ground firm is by insisting that everyone stand on it with them. That leads to political correctness and shaming in a way that stifles — or frightens away — individual thought.
It takes incredible courage – or the innocence of a child – to point out that the king is wearing no clothes, when the rest of the world insists he is.
Boy this one hits close. As a started down your list of "Do you's", I thought, No. No. No. No. I don't do that. Then as I got further in, I thought, well, maybe, a little. Then, well, yeah.
You are absolutely right. We have to stop.
A few years ago, as my young son watched the political divide in our household (my wife and daughter are ... um, liberals), he developed a little guiding principle: If you're thinking of saying something, first ask yourself, is it possible it might hurt someone's feelings? If so, don't say it. Of course, one can't (shouldn't) always live that, but it makes a nice starting point, from which to ask, is there a really good reason to say it anyway?
A little child shall lead them and all that.
Or, as you put it - Are we behaving in ways that make people want to be more like us?
Personally, I'm gonna try a little harder. Because that's really how you change minds, and also because it's the right thing to do.
Timely message. I’ve been disappointed in the number of liberals (including Christians) who’ve essentially castigated anyone who voted Trump as well as the conservatives (again, including Christians) that have acted like jerks in victory. It’s disheartening
I don’t always agree with everything you write, but amen to all of this. I have been horribly disappointed by the response of conservatives to the misery of the left. What is wrong with us that we find such delight in watching them wailing in agony, no matter how ridiculous that agony appears?
The Biden years were an existential threat to my loved ones. I fully understand the anger towards the people who championed those policies. I still find the nasty glee about “leftist tears” to be deeply disturbing. Then again, I got on Twitter after not touching it since 2022 and that was probably a huge mistake.
I fully agree with you, even about the part of struggling not to mock people who are clearly delusional. Way back in 2016, I attended a local comic book convention. In the dealers' room (where folks sell their comics, art, souvenirs, etc.), One lady who was selling comics featuring gays was loudly haranguing all passers by about how evil and dangerous Trump was. Finally she just shouted, "He's going to put me in a camp!" I just calmly replied, "Nobody's going to put you in a camp." I'm sure it didn't change her mind, but it did get her to calm down a little, and the folks at the tables next to hers thanked me.
Most things are simple. The appeal of classical marxism is envy. Some folks are rich. You're not. Therefore they stole it from you. Ipso facto. Cultural marxism is more about greed, using anger to attain wealth and status. As Glenn Reynolds says, "The whole point of leftist politics is to give people an excuse to feel good about being mean."
The 7 deadly sins only work in the short run. Like a hit of an opioid, they make you feel good and anesthetize you. . Eventually you end up fat, angry, vile, and useless. If someone comes at you in anger, respond,
"You do know that anger is one of the seven deadly sins?"
"But I'm angry about people who lack compassion!"
"I believe in, 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.' Is anger how you would like me to approach you?"
Coming from the hard left, I completely agree. Activists of whichever stripe will, after the election, simply roll up their sleeves and get back to whatever they were doing. But if your politics involves nothing more than voting, then election results hold outsized importance. I now have friends on both the left and right and it’s a much richer way to be, socially and politically.
I very much agree! I just can’t figure out HOW to reach the people on the other side. If you won’t agree with them, they will not engage in any meaningful way. They’ll simply pronounce you evil and also probably curse at you and that’s that. In the past 2 days my daughter has been notified by multiple friends AND a cousin that they can no longer be friends or interact with her because she voted to take away their bodily rights. There’s nothing she can say or do. And I find myself in a similar position with several of my “friends.”
Have you had any success or do you have any ideas for how to bridge this kind of gap with people? I’m at a loss.
That’s so sad, and I’m sorry to hear it. There are some people who just won’t be willing to meet you in the middle no matter what. I’ve learned you have to pray for them and let them go. I have two siblings who haven’t spoken to me in almost 10 years. I love them. I pray for them, but I can’t force them to accept my beliefs.
At the same time, I also co-founded a bipartisan coalition of women from dramatically opposing viewpoints, and it’s been one of the most healing experiences of my adult life. From the jump, we agreed not to discuss the issues we knew would divide us, and we were really disciplined about only engaging topics about which we passionately agreed. We stuck to those rules for a long while, and rich friendships grew out of it. We were suddenly able to see “the other side” as humans with convictions and hearts and feelings, and now, all this time later, because of that foundation, we actually CAN discuss a number of the harder issues.
I guess my recommendation would be to try to find common ground wherever possible, and affirm it. Speak life into it. Invite people to coffee. I have a friend who intentionally invites people from opposite worldviews into his home to cook a meal for them on a regular basis.
If people want to do the work, it can yield beautiful results. But not everyone is ready for that risk, unfortunately. ❤️
Thank you Kaeley for this thoughtful response. Excellent advice to “pray for them and let them go”… like you, I’ve already had to do this with multiple friends, my brother and his wife, and more. It’s just so sad and frustrating. I want to be able to DO something. But as you said, they have to be willing to meet in the middle and many are not.
I love that you founded a bipartisan coalition of women… Now that’s doing something! How did you do that? Was this online or in person? I want to try it 🤓
Amen, Amen, and Amen.
If we do the best we can to live the two great commandments: to love the Lord with all our might, mind, and strength; and our neighbors as ourselves, then we wouldn’t hear nearly as much shouting, or feel nearly as much judgement or hate.
But wait, we have to know how to truly love ourselves first!
Knowing that God loves EACH of His children – you, me, and the people we can’t even stand to be around – helps us see ourselves and each other in a different way.
We can then agree to disagree civilly.
The challenge, as you have pointed out before, is that if a person at some level (even in not consciously) knows they are on shaky ground, the way they think they make that ground firm is by insisting that everyone stand on it with them. That leads to political correctness and shaming in a way that stifles — or frightens away — individual thought.
It takes incredible courage – or the innocence of a child – to point out that the king is wearing no clothes, when the rest of the world insists he is.
Boy this one hits close. As a started down your list of "Do you's", I thought, No. No. No. No. I don't do that. Then as I got further in, I thought, well, maybe, a little. Then, well, yeah.
You are absolutely right. We have to stop.
A few years ago, as my young son watched the political divide in our household (my wife and daughter are ... um, liberals), he developed a little guiding principle: If you're thinking of saying something, first ask yourself, is it possible it might hurt someone's feelings? If so, don't say it. Of course, one can't (shouldn't) always live that, but it makes a nice starting point, from which to ask, is there a really good reason to say it anyway?
A little child shall lead them and all that.
Or, as you put it - Are we behaving in ways that make people want to be more like us?
Personally, I'm gonna try a little harder. Because that's really how you change minds, and also because it's the right thing to do.
Timely message. I’ve been disappointed in the number of liberals (including Christians) who’ve essentially castigated anyone who voted Trump as well as the conservatives (again, including Christians) that have acted like jerks in victory. It’s disheartening
Yes! Thank you for taking about this. Great discussion threads as well.
I don’t always agree with everything you write, but amen to all of this. I have been horribly disappointed by the response of conservatives to the misery of the left. What is wrong with us that we find such delight in watching them wailing in agony, no matter how ridiculous that agony appears?
The Biden years were an existential threat to my loved ones. I fully understand the anger towards the people who championed those policies. I still find the nasty glee about “leftist tears” to be deeply disturbing. Then again, I got on Twitter after not touching it since 2022 and that was probably a huge mistake.
I fully agree with you, even about the part of struggling not to mock people who are clearly delusional. Way back in 2016, I attended a local comic book convention. In the dealers' room (where folks sell their comics, art, souvenirs, etc.), One lady who was selling comics featuring gays was loudly haranguing all passers by about how evil and dangerous Trump was. Finally she just shouted, "He's going to put me in a camp!" I just calmly replied, "Nobody's going to put you in a camp." I'm sure it didn't change her mind, but it did get her to calm down a little, and the folks at the tables next to hers thanked me.
Most things are simple. The appeal of classical marxism is envy. Some folks are rich. You're not. Therefore they stole it from you. Ipso facto. Cultural marxism is more about greed, using anger to attain wealth and status. As Glenn Reynolds says, "The whole point of leftist politics is to give people an excuse to feel good about being mean."
The 7 deadly sins only work in the short run. Like a hit of an opioid, they make you feel good and anesthetize you. . Eventually you end up fat, angry, vile, and useless. If someone comes at you in anger, respond,
"You do know that anger is one of the seven deadly sins?"
"But I'm angry about people who lack compassion!"
"I believe in, 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.' Is anger how you would like me to approach you?"
Coming from the hard left, I completely agree. Activists of whichever stripe will, after the election, simply roll up their sleeves and get back to whatever they were doing. But if your politics involves nothing more than voting, then election results hold outsized importance. I now have friends on both the left and right and it’s a much richer way to be, socially and politically.