This resonates. It is impossible to untangle the nature/nurture conundrum; even more when you add trauma and disfunction. I know we must (even when-or maybe especially when-our children are adults) make a hard effort to understand where healing is needed; when an honest, "I am so sorry I hurt you", is required to move into a deeper, healthier relationship with our kids. But often we must give the best of our blind selves and trust that we will see what we need to when the Lord removes some scales. Sister, that is treacherous work!- designed, I'm convinced to keep us beggars, awaiting Perfect Love.
There are days, now months and my prayer is “please God .. not years” I just feel so clueless at how to navigate these waters even at 65.
Thank you for your willingness to share the insights both she and you grow from. My own daughter has been the challenge of my lifetime and there have been plenty of other challenges but here we are again... my feeling clueless of how to help so I stop trying since it seems to make matters worse the harder I try. So back to another level of therapy for me and crying out to God for “a sign” of what the heck to do. The “mini-us” is the hardest of all, Im thinking, as I realized a few days ago... I didn’t know what to do with me either. My mother left us all when I was eight. Thankfully she was back in my life as an adult but the gap is still present.
Carry on, never give up and don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know” ? Thank you for your insights and care that you so bravely share!
I painfully loved this write up. I understand this. I haven’t walked every bit of it, but I recognize the scenery, and I’ve traversed a good bit of it. I’ve never thought about why it bothers me to have the little arms always wanting something from me. Amazingly insightful. That’s a painful arrow to feel. Thank you. I have some work to do.
This resonates. It is impossible to untangle the nature/nurture conundrum; even more when you add trauma and disfunction. I know we must (even when-or maybe especially when-our children are adults) make a hard effort to understand where healing is needed; when an honest, "I am so sorry I hurt you", is required to move into a deeper, healthier relationship with our kids. But often we must give the best of our blind selves and trust that we will see what we need to when the Lord removes some scales. Sister, that is treacherous work!- designed, I'm convinced to keep us beggars, awaiting Perfect Love.
Praying for you.
Such a beautiful post
There are days, now months and my prayer is “please God .. not years” I just feel so clueless at how to navigate these waters even at 65.
Thank you for your willingness to share the insights both she and you grow from. My own daughter has been the challenge of my lifetime and there have been plenty of other challenges but here we are again... my feeling clueless of how to help so I stop trying since it seems to make matters worse the harder I try. So back to another level of therapy for me and crying out to God for “a sign” of what the heck to do. The “mini-us” is the hardest of all, Im thinking, as I realized a few days ago... I didn’t know what to do with me either. My mother left us all when I was eight. Thankfully she was back in my life as an adult but the gap is still present.
Carry on, never give up and don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know” ? Thank you for your insights and care that you so bravely share!
I painfully loved this write up. I understand this. I haven’t walked every bit of it, but I recognize the scenery, and I’ve traversed a good bit of it. I’ve never thought about why it bothers me to have the little arms always wanting something from me. Amazingly insightful. That’s a painful arrow to feel. Thank you. I have some work to do.