This kind of bad theology is what happens when complimentarianism is taken to its logical conclusion. I remember hearing the on staff church counselor tell a group how difficult it is to tell a woman in an abusive marriage she needs to stay unless the violence escalates to the point of serious physical harm. At that point she can separate, but with the understanding she needs to try and save the marriage. Not all churches believe and practice this, but too many do.
When abusers are not held accountable, it encourages more abuse.
How much does Jesus care about the individual? The parable of the lost sheep is a good indicator.
I have seen this time and again and not just in evangelical churches although it’s more
prevalent there because of the way they cherry pick their Bible verses on wifely submission. It’s also a result of the “one and done” view on sin and repentance. If a guy prayed the sinners prayed with his Sunday school teacher back when he was nine, then he has no more sin to repent of, right? That’s the theology I’ve seen in every Baptist church I’ve been in over the past 35 years. No need to say sorry for anything. No need to recognized his need to change or figure out his part in how he’s wrecking his own home. Protestant theology at its finest and blindest..
My dad's sister ended filing for divorce because her ex was unfaithful. He had been a pastor at one point, and may have been guilty of clergy sexual abuse. I remember my dad telling me that my aunt had a biblical reason for divorce.
Abuse breaks the marriage vow, no ifs ands or buts about it, and therefore getting out of an abusive marriage is a legitimate reason for divorce.
This is well said. The man may be the head of the home, but that actually makes him the one accountable before God to do the hard work of making the marriage work. When the wife is told to do the hard work it is a reversal of roles. He is to love and give and she is to receive LOVE and respond. We Love Christ because he first loved us.
Yes yes yes. Lived this for 11 years until I felt GOD release me from my abusive marriage. Had to work through the fact that my various churches and some family and friends not accepting that idea.
In Jeremiah 3 God himself sent a “letter of divorcement” to Israel for their lack of repentance , with a heart for them to turn around. If God cannot sin , how could this be? After years of an extremely psychologically abusive marriage and only looking forward to my death by the both of us, as I was being counselled with “staying put” by numerous pastors, I finally had one who showed me this scripture. I understood Gods heart for me once that happened. One in the many saved me. As God did.
I define abuse as a pattern of coercive control designed to A pattern of coercive control (ongoing actions or inactions) that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation and isolation, the abuser keeps his* target subordinated and under his control. (*sometimes the genders are reversed but most perps are men)
I am wondering why you quoted Marg Mowczko’s article(s). Did you know that she takes a different approach to exegeting the divorce texts from the one I take?
Did you know that the phrase “God hates divorce” comes from a mistranslation of Malachi 2:16?
I quoted Marg because I love Marg. That doesn't mean I agree with her about absolutely everything, but it does mean that I fully appreciate her body of work, and I find it easy to understand.
This kind of bad theology is what happens when complimentarianism is taken to its logical conclusion. I remember hearing the on staff church counselor tell a group how difficult it is to tell a woman in an abusive marriage she needs to stay unless the violence escalates to the point of serious physical harm. At that point she can separate, but with the understanding she needs to try and save the marriage. Not all churches believe and practice this, but too many do.
When abusers are not held accountable, it encourages more abuse.
How much does Jesus care about the individual? The parable of the lost sheep is a good indicator.
I have seen this time and again and not just in evangelical churches although it’s more
prevalent there because of the way they cherry pick their Bible verses on wifely submission. It’s also a result of the “one and done” view on sin and repentance. If a guy prayed the sinners prayed with his Sunday school teacher back when he was nine, then he has no more sin to repent of, right? That’s the theology I’ve seen in every Baptist church I’ve been in over the past 35 years. No need to say sorry for anything. No need to recognized his need to change or figure out his part in how he’s wrecking his own home. Protestant theology at its finest and blindest..
Every word is true. Women need to hear this.
Abusers seek out those who are willing to endure abuse as a form of twisted obedience to Christ.
The Bible doesn't teach marriage permanence, plain and simple. I've done posts on my Substack on divorce.
https://thepentecostalwesleyan.substack.com/p/when-is-divorce-permissible-for-a
https://thepentecostalwesleyan.substack.com/p/when-is-divorce-permissible-for-a-e8f
My dad's sister ended filing for divorce because her ex was unfaithful. He had been a pastor at one point, and may have been guilty of clergy sexual abuse. I remember my dad telling me that my aunt had a biblical reason for divorce.
Abuse breaks the marriage vow, no ifs ands or buts about it, and therefore getting out of an abusive marriage is a legitimate reason for divorce.
This is well said. The man may be the head of the home, but that actually makes him the one accountable before God to do the hard work of making the marriage work. When the wife is told to do the hard work it is a reversal of roles. He is to love and give and she is to receive LOVE and respond. We Love Christ because he first loved us.
Yes yes yes. Lived this for 11 years until I felt GOD release me from my abusive marriage. Had to work through the fact that my various churches and some family and friends not accepting that idea.
In Jeremiah 3 God himself sent a “letter of divorcement” to Israel for their lack of repentance , with a heart for them to turn around. If God cannot sin , how could this be? After years of an extremely psychologically abusive marriage and only looking forward to my death by the both of us, as I was being counselled with “staying put” by numerous pastors, I finally had one who showed me this scripture. I understood Gods heart for me once that happened. One in the many saved me. As God did.
I affirm that the Bible allows divorce for abuse.
I define abuse as a pattern of coercive control designed to A pattern of coercive control (ongoing actions or inactions) that proceeds from a mentality of entitlement to power, whereby, through intimidation, manipulation and isolation, the abuser keeps his* target subordinated and under his control. (*sometimes the genders are reversed but most perps are men)
Key phrases:
mentality of entitlement
pattern of coercive control
power and control
https://cryingoutforjustice.blog/how-can-i-identify-an-abuser/
I am wondering why you quoted Marg Mowczko’s article(s). Did you know that she takes a different approach to exegeting the divorce texts from the one I take?
Did you know that the phrase “God hates divorce” comes from a mistranslation of Malachi 2:16?
https://cryingoutforjustice.blog/2023/07/23/god-hates-divorce-is-a-mistranslation-malachi-216-digest/
Dig into my analysis of the divorce scriptures here: https://cryingoutforjustice.blog/what-does-the-bible-say-about-divorce/https://cryingoutforjustice.blog/what-does-the-bible-say-about-divorce/
I quoted Marg because I love Marg. That doesn't mean I agree with her about absolutely everything, but it does mean that I fully appreciate her body of work, and I find it easy to understand.
Just curious then -- do you find my work hard to understand? I won’t be offended if you say you do.
No, I do not find your work hard to understand.