your best article yet. I am amazed that you survived. The greatest bondage is theological bondage that is to a theology that is in many ways "orthodox". I have spent a lifetime finding Jesus (knowing him personally) rather than knowing about him. And so many Christians look at you when you say something like this as if you are from Mars. But when you finally KNOW Jesus... You know it. And knowing him is life, liberty, joy, and peace.
What powerful, raw testimony. Thank you for sharing your experience of true faith, true surrender. The world is in desperate needs of these stories that illuminate the path. 🙏🏻❤️
I can relate so much to this, having some similarity in backgrounds. Thank you for putting it into words. I'm in a transition period myself and having a lot of difficulty finding a new community, having spent the past almost 20 years at a reformed church. This was helpful to me.
Grateful to hear how your path eventually led from Ashes to the "Beauty" which you & your children deserved! As a former member of a Cessasionist cult for over three decades my journey brought me through much of the same "terror-tory" you described, although I never had to leave the light on all night. 3AM seemed to be the time slot set aside for me to learn stuff nobody I knew could ever talk about (or hear). Never got clobbered by a door either (ouch) but sometimes objects were thrown in my direction. Thankfully most of that craziness played out with an empty nest. Wondering if your breakthrough took place at Gateway? I attended there only once after a SOZO training but it was lovely. Looking forward to your next article... Steve Nelson - Boise
What a beautiful, honest testimony! It strikes me that God did want to heal your husband; God’s desire that none should perish is biblical. But as I’m sure you recognize now (and maybe I’ve even read it from you before), it just wasn’t your job to be your husband’s savior, and you didn’t have the framework yet to push back like that to those church people, nor does it sound like they offered that word in a spirit of submitting it to you to test and examine for yourself and with godly counsel.
Thank you for writing this. So much struck me but right now today, what I think God wanted me to read was your example of taking your sorrow to him. Of pouring out your feelings to him. I n Ed to do this - thank you for sharing.
Kaeley bless you and thank you for this article. It’s hard for me to find words to say how much I praise it.
The demonic. Trigger warning.
I was raped by my sister when I was 9, and when she was coming into my room I could sense the malevolent spirit that was with her, motivating her to do that to me. I was sensing this in my sleep. As she raped me I gradually woke up. Terrifying is a word that doesn’t even touch the edges.
I didn’t have any more experiences of the demonic until after I was born again in my mid 20s. In my late 20s i was raped by a demon. In that rape no human being was in the bed with me. Succubus was the word that came to me. I fought it off in my own strength. I didn’t know that I could use the name of Jesus to command it to leave.
Years after that I was attending a Pentecostal church and heard the pastor preach about how we can use the name of Jesus to rebuke demons. I had been experiencing demonic attacks in my sleep (not sexual, just ‘paralysis’ and spell-like fear) and the next time it happened my spirit remembered what the pastor had said and I used the name of Jesus and the evil spirit fled.
I wished Christians had taught me years earlier that I could command evil spirits in the name of Jesus.
Now the demons no longer try to attack me in my sleep. They know it’s no use because I know how to deal with them.
Occasionally I get sudden needle-like headaches. When that happens I pray and command the spirit to stop and to leave. If the headache suddenly ceases when I pray, I know the headache had been spiritually caused--either by a demon or by someone who is in league with the demons.
I see that no-one has responded to my comment. Big sigh.
Non-response makes me feel even more alone.
No acknowledgement hurts. It suggests that people who read my comment either disbelieved me, or thought I was crazy.
I am neither crazy nor untruthful. Anyone who has paid attention to what I write on the internet, how I comment in response to others, how I advocate for victims of abuse, and how I stand against oppressors, should be able to conclude that I am neither crazy nor untruthful.
Barbara, I'm sorry, but I need you to try to not take things so personally. Being offended all the time is not helpful.
My family got in a bad car accident over the weekend. I've been very busy trying to recover from that, deal with insurance, secure a rental, and then drive across the state to retrieve my daughter from her dad's house, which is its own full time responsibility.
If you are going to interpret my lack of engagement as an insult, then respectfully, please do not follow my page. I cannot afford to take on the responsibility of protecting your feelings right now. I promise I will fail, and I do not wish to hurt you. I wish you all the peace and blessings in the world. Sincerely.
I’m really really sorry about your car accident. I should have said that before, at the post where you write about it. It must have been —and still would be — really difficult to deal with. I am wishing you all the best as you are sorting through all the damage and hassle the accident caused you.
Thank you for your understanding. I honestly had not seen your comment until now. And I am grateful for your willingness to share your experience. I pray God blesses you for it and that others are emboldened to own their own stories as a result of your courage.
your best article yet. I am amazed that you survived. The greatest bondage is theological bondage that is to a theology that is in many ways "orthodox". I have spent a lifetime finding Jesus (knowing him personally) rather than knowing about him. And so many Christians look at you when you say something like this as if you are from Mars. But when you finally KNOW Jesus... You know it. And knowing him is life, liberty, joy, and peace.
“Your best article yet”
I second that!
What powerful, raw testimony. Thank you for sharing your experience of true faith, true surrender. The world is in desperate needs of these stories that illuminate the path. 🙏🏻❤️
I attend a Reform church, but am not a cessationist. We can’t put God in a box.
I can relate so much to this, having some similarity in backgrounds. Thank you for putting it into words. I'm in a transition period myself and having a lot of difficulty finding a new community, having spent the past almost 20 years at a reformed church. This was helpful to me.
Grateful to hear how your path eventually led from Ashes to the "Beauty" which you & your children deserved! As a former member of a Cessasionist cult for over three decades my journey brought me through much of the same "terror-tory" you described, although I never had to leave the light on all night. 3AM seemed to be the time slot set aside for me to learn stuff nobody I knew could ever talk about (or hear). Never got clobbered by a door either (ouch) but sometimes objects were thrown in my direction. Thankfully most of that craziness played out with an empty nest. Wondering if your breakthrough took place at Gateway? I attended there only once after a SOZO training but it was lovely. Looking forward to your next article... Steve Nelson - Boise
What a beautiful, honest testimony! It strikes me that God did want to heal your husband; God’s desire that none should perish is biblical. But as I’m sure you recognize now (and maybe I’ve even read it from you before), it just wasn’t your job to be your husband’s savior, and you didn’t have the framework yet to push back like that to those church people, nor does it sound like they offered that word in a spirit of submitting it to you to test and examine for yourself and with godly counsel.
Thank you for writing this. So much struck me but right now today, what I think God wanted me to read was your example of taking your sorrow to him. Of pouring out your feelings to him. I n Ed to do this - thank you for sharing.
Kaeley bless you and thank you for this article. It’s hard for me to find words to say how much I praise it.
The demonic. Trigger warning.
I was raped by my sister when I was 9, and when she was coming into my room I could sense the malevolent spirit that was with her, motivating her to do that to me. I was sensing this in my sleep. As she raped me I gradually woke up. Terrifying is a word that doesn’t even touch the edges.
I didn’t have any more experiences of the demonic until after I was born again in my mid 20s. In my late 20s i was raped by a demon. In that rape no human being was in the bed with me. Succubus was the word that came to me. I fought it off in my own strength. I didn’t know that I could use the name of Jesus to command it to leave.
Years after that I was attending a Pentecostal church and heard the pastor preach about how we can use the name of Jesus to rebuke demons. I had been experiencing demonic attacks in my sleep (not sexual, just ‘paralysis’ and spell-like fear) and the next time it happened my spirit remembered what the pastor had said and I used the name of Jesus and the evil spirit fled.
I wished Christians had taught me years earlier that I could command evil spirits in the name of Jesus.
Now the demons no longer try to attack me in my sleep. They know it’s no use because I know how to deal with them.
Occasionally I get sudden needle-like headaches. When that happens I pray and command the spirit to stop and to leave. If the headache suddenly ceases when I pray, I know the headache had been spiritually caused--either by a demon or by someone who is in league with the demons.
I see that no-one has responded to my comment. Big sigh.
Non-response makes me feel even more alone.
No acknowledgement hurts. It suggests that people who read my comment either disbelieved me, or thought I was crazy.
I am neither crazy nor untruthful. Anyone who has paid attention to what I write on the internet, how I comment in response to others, how I advocate for victims of abuse, and how I stand against oppressors, should be able to conclude that I am neither crazy nor untruthful.
Barbara, I'm sorry, but I need you to try to not take things so personally. Being offended all the time is not helpful.
My family got in a bad car accident over the weekend. I've been very busy trying to recover from that, deal with insurance, secure a rental, and then drive across the state to retrieve my daughter from her dad's house, which is its own full time responsibility.
If you are going to interpret my lack of engagement as an insult, then respectfully, please do not follow my page. I cannot afford to take on the responsibility of protecting your feelings right now. I promise I will fail, and I do not wish to hurt you. I wish you all the peace and blessings in the world. Sincerely.
Thank you Kaeley.
I’m really really sorry about your car accident. I should have said that before, at the post where you write about it. It must have been —and still would be — really difficult to deal with. I am wishing you all the best as you are sorting through all the damage and hassle the accident caused you.
Thank you for your understanding. I honestly had not seen your comment until now. And I am grateful for your willingness to share your experience. I pray God blesses you for it and that others are emboldened to own their own stories as a result of your courage.
Thank you Kaeley!